


Noodles

by binarylightyear



Category: Fallout 4
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-09
Updated: 2016-01-09
Packaged: 2018-05-12 18:16:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,687
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5675782
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/binarylightyear/pseuds/binarylightyear
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>While being a spy for the Railroad inside the Brotherhood, running the Minutemen and trying to find her son, Ellie always makes time for her friends, and namely her best friend: MacCready.  Because the three sides of her never meet, she sometimes loses who she is while trying to be something she was never meant to be.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Noodles

‘Codsworth,’ she called quietly from the kitchen table, and a moment later the Mr. Handy came in, spinning and whirring.  
‘Yes, Miss Ellie?’  
‘Has Nate come home yet?’  
‘Not that I’ve noticed. I haven’t heard anything, but will alert you as soon as I do.’  
‘Thank you,’ she replied, and stood as the robot retreated, humming some jingle from the telly. As soon as she reached her feet, she was clutching at her stomach in pain. Her hand slapped at the table with a yell as she heard gunshots, Shaun crying, an indistinct noise that slowly grew in volume until that was all she could hear. It was just him, crying, the sound of Nate’s yell, and then, another voice—  
‘Boss!’  
She was being shaken awake, and she met it with a yell, and her knife. He was quick, though, and luckily. Strong hands gripped her wrists, keeping them up and between them.  
‘Boss. It was just a dream.’  
She blinked her eyes clear. It was dim, but she knew that face. Her shoulders relaxed. ‘MacCready, shit. I’m sorry.’ He relaxed as well, and then finally released her wrists. He was quick to turn away. She sat up. ‘I don’t mean to keep on keeping you from sleep.’  
A pause in the doorway. ‘I don’t get much of that, anyway.’  
‘Stay in here with me.’  
‘In your old bedroom? You’re kidding right?’ He glanced at her, and found that she wasn’t.  
‘Saves you the trip next time I have a nightmare.’  
‘And yet raises the odds that I will be stabbed exponentially.’  
‘You hold the knife then.’ This actually got him to turn away from the door, instead of talking into the hallway. ‘And, hopefully, soon I won’t be having these things anymore.’  
He picked up the knife and slipped it under the door-side pillow. ‘Fine. But if you throttle me in my sleep, I want my caps back.’ She smirked at him as he laid over the blankets. He took out a pack of cigarettes, took one out, and lit it up. She watched the entire thing, the way the cherry lit up his face, with an exhausted awe.  
He looked tired. He had always looked tired, in truth, ever since she had hired him a few weeks ago. A month? Shit, she didn’t know anymore. Her pipboy told her the date, but she was far past trying to give it meaning. It didn’t hold that much meaning these days.  
Anyway, he looked tired. She highly suspected that he knew she was looking at him, but he probably didn’t care. She used a finger to pop her light brown hair out of its bun so she could lie on her back. She watched the smoke swirl up and into the ceiling for a time, and then turned on her side, away from him, eyes closing.  
She only awoke once the rest of the night, and for a few seconds she was confused as to why. She didn’t remember any dream. Then she felt the entire bed shake, and she turned over quickly. She could only watch him in his nightmare before her hands found his cheeks, his shoulders, down his arms. He gripped at her, and she crooned softly that it was all right. Something must have made it through, because his grip softened to a hold, and his arms wrapped around her warmly.  
As Ellie laid there against him, listening to his breathing return to normal, she could only imagine what kind of thing kept him up at night. It was still on her mind as she drifted back into her own sleep, turning ideas over and over until they were half-formed sequences played out by odd characters in her dreams.  
She wasn’t surprised that in the morning, she was alone. She spent a few minutes just lying there, soaking up his residual warmth, before she actually got up and dressed in something a slight bit fresher.  
She found MacCready sitting out on the front step with Dogmeat, scratching between the dog’s ears as he smoked a cigarette. She came and sat beside him. He silently offered her his pack, and she accepted, taking care to pick one out before lighting it.  
‘What do you have nightmares about?’ He wondered after a few minutes. They were watching the residents bustle about in their morning activities, and so it was another minute before she replied.  
‘Watching them take my baby.’  
He is careful to turn away and keep his face hidden from her. Dogmeat got some extra attention. ‘They don’t go away easily.’  
‘I know.’ She didn’t know if he knew that she knew about his nightmares, or that she had soothed one the night before.   
‘But… I am here for you, if you need to talk, or if you just need me to be the knife under your pillow.’  
‘Maybe you can be both.’  
He sat back up again. ‘Yeah. Yeah, I think I can do that. You just… let me know.’  
‘You know, I’m here if you need to talk, too. Anything you need, really.’ He glanced over at her, fingers pausing in their dog’s fur. She felt blood rush to her face. ‘I just meant, if you want to. All you have to do is ask.’  
‘What you’ve done for me is already more than anyone else,’ he said in a quiet tone. ‘I feel like I’m taking more than I’m giving.’  
‘Don’t be silly. You’ve saved my life more than a few times, and I drag you all over the Commonwealth after leads.’  
‘And you took out a whole garrison of Gunners for me, and keep on making sure there are no survivors whenever we run into them.’  
‘I will always do that. It is my genuine pleasure.’  
He chuckled, fingers up and running through his hair before he looked down the road. They had set up quite the little settlement here in Sanctuary. What was her old neighborhood full of other middle-class families had turned into a village in its own right. She had, of course, claimed her old house as her own. Codsworth buzzed around all the homes, but he still tried to tidy up their home. She had found a doghouse for Dogmeat and set it out front for him. Her and Preston had spent a few days clearing out the rubbish and setting the furniture back into its place. Her house, and the one across from it, were the cleanest by far. Now that the settlement was starting to buzz with traders and people trickling in from their work with the Minutemen, other houses were being repaired, too. Traders were building little shops along the road, and brahmin were almost always to be heard clopping their way around.  
Since she had hired him in Goodneighbor, he had almost always been with her. Sure, he complained, but it was usually in a good-natured kind of way. They had taken out the Gunners that were causing him problems, and since then she had never questioned his loyalty. His gratitude was sincere, and since now he stuck with her not because she had hired him as a mercenary but because he wanted to, she wasn’t worried. In fact, even though she trusted Preston and Deacon and some of the others that she had met, no one really came close to MacCready in her book. He was, without question, her best friend. She looked to him mid-conversation with someone new, and he would always give her a sign about what he thought. He didn’t even have to say anything most of the time.  
He had taken up in her house since she had brought him home, and there were little signs of him everywhere, now. When she had first come home, she had sat on the ruined couch, alone with just Codsworth, for hours. He had tried to persuade her to leave, to go to Concord, but she didn’t for a couple of days. Wasn’t it just yesterday that she had sat here with Nate? They had watched the news like they always did in the morning, right? He had bounced Shaun on his knee?  
When she closed her eyes, she could picture it. Everything was clean and polished. She could almost smell the banana bread in the oven, and the smell of Nate’s aftershave hanging in the air after he had kissed her. The telly was buzzed on, but no one was really watching it. Nate was there, the paper open over the kitchen island, and he was sipping on coffee as he read the jobs in the help wanted section. She had Shaun with her, lain against her chest, and her fingers over the wisps of baby hair on his head. Her eyes, though, were on Nate. How did she ever land him, anyway?  
He probably asked the same question about her. She thought about how they met. He was still in the Army back then, and she, well, she was fresh out of Law School. She had just gotten a job with a local firm, and so knew basically no one at their Christmas party. One of the partners was a veteran, and invited Nate along to enjoy the festivities. No one had really seemed to mind, and if she had known anyone well, she probably wouldn’t have noticed him.  
But there he was, leaning against the wall and holding a drink that he looked too scared to actually, well, drink. She had come and leaned there beside him, and though he glanced at her (well, more like stared), he didn’t say anything at first.   
‘Can I help you?’  
‘You looked as lost as me. Figured if I stood next to you, people would think we were doing it on purpose.’  
This coaxed a smile out of him, and from that first smile, she was hooked. Their first kiss was under the mistletoe in the middle of the firm not even an hour later. She didn’t care that all of these new people were watching, because there was nothing to be ashamed of.  
He wanted to wait until he was officially discharged before they got married, but once he was, they wasted little time. Her family wasn’t happy about his line of work compared to hers, but there wasn’t much they could do. His family introduced her to all the things that she, unknowingly, would need in her future. Shooting, hunting, camping, tracking. He had taught her how to shoot, how to clean the guns, the quickest way to reload.  
‘Why is this so important?’ She had asked one day as they were putting away the guns from a day of shooting.  
‘I might not always be around, and I don’t want to lose you,’ he replied, as easy as anything. ‘If you can defend yourself as well as I could defend you, I don’t have anything to worry about.’  
‘You don’t have anything to worry about, anyway,’ she said, stealing a kiss before he moved away. He was smiling now.  
She opened her eyes, and her cigarette had gone out. She found her matches to relight it, and beside her, MacCready made a little noise. She wondered how long she had been sitting there. ‘I think he would have liked you.’  
‘Would he?’  
‘Probably would have been jealous, but you two would have gotten along well.’  
‘Jealous, hmm?’ He leaned back against the door now, taking the time to light up a new cigarette. ‘You haven’t talked much about him before.’  
‘He was a soldier. Protective. Funny.’  
‘A good husband.’  
‘A good father.’  
‘You miss him, and you miss your son. At least you’ll have one of them back soon.’ Something about his tone made her look at him, but his expression was momentarily masked by a cloud of smoke. ‘I promise.’  
‘Who are you missing?’ She wondered, and she watched him carefully as he shifted.  
‘You know, when I left the Capital Wasteland, I didn’t just leave Little Lamplight behind, but my family as well.’ Dogmeat came and laid his head on MacCready’s lap, and his hand came to pet him softly. Her eyes didn’t leave his face, just waiting for him to continue. ‘Her name was Lucy. You knew that, though, from when we were in the Dugout Inn.’ She nodded, and he took another drag of his cigarette. ‘We had a son, Duncan. He’s back in the Capital Wasteland still, safe, but sick. I… I don’t know what’s wrong with him.’  
‘What happened?’  
‘I don’t know. I mean, I have an idea on how to maybe get a cure, but the information I have is sketchy. Maybe its all just a coincidence, but I don’t know.’  
‘If there’s a chance, we should take it.’  
He glanced at her, fingers leaving Dogmeat to trace the scar down the side of her face. ‘You’re sure? We could get there, and find nothing but rubble.’  
‘We killed Kellogg together. That was for me and Nate. Time to do something for you and Lucy.’  
He was giving her a look now that made the blood rush up to her face, the kind of look that gave that small movement he made towards her, his fingers still on her skin, a whole new meaning. ‘Ellie, this—this means more to me than anything else. Even if we don’t find anything there, I’ll still be in your debt for the rest of my life.’  
‘Family is important. You don’t owe me a thing.’  
‘Bullshit,’ he said quietly. This caused her to laugh softly, and then finally his skin left hers, met with a smile of his own.  
‘So, where are we heading?’  
‘Med-Tek. Here, let me see your pip,’ he said, and she moved closer and pulled up her map. He took a minute to find it before marking it for her. ‘Whenever you’re ready to head out.’  
‘Let me grab my gear,’ she said, standing with a hand in his hair for a second before disappearing inside. He followed after finishing his cigarette, and they didn’t talk much as they gathered their things like they had done a dozen times before.  
‘Got everything?’ He wondered as she shut the door behind them.  
‘Guns, ammo, and you. What else do I need?’  
‘Caps.’  
‘We’re never low on caps.’  
‘No, we most certainly aren’t,’ he agreed happily, and they started heading out, heading east.

‘So, where did you get your info from?’ Ellie asked as they walked along one of the long abandoned roads.   
‘I met this guy in my travels, Sinclair. I had been asking around a little, you know, once I left home. I thought this guy was just pulling my leg, talking about his friend who was sick and this cure they had heard about, until he started to describe the same kind of symptoms that Duncan had. Blue boils. That is too rare to be a coincidence.’  
‘Why didn’t you go after it back then?’  
‘It was just a rumour. I mean, I have all the security codes and everything, but his friend died before they could get him his cure. So… like I said. There could be nothing there, and I have no idea what we’ll be walking in on.’  
‘If its there, we’ll find it.’  
‘I know we will. I never doubted that for a second.’ He paused. ‘Well, to be completely honest, I went there once, briefly.’  
‘Did you?’ He sounded more than slightly spooked, and it was no coincidence that she accidentally knocked into his shoulder.  
‘Yeah, but I didn’t get very far. There were—a lot of ferals. Nothing we can’t handle together, but on my own…’ He dug for his pack of cigarettes, like she knew he would. He was a creature of the habit. ‘But that was a while ago. Who knows what’s there now?’  
‘I’m sure its just ferals.’  
‘Yeah… just ferals.’

It did turn out to be just ferals. A shitton of ferals, sure, some even locked up in holding cells, but it was nothing the two of them couldn’t handle together. The smell, however, was something completely different. She had smelled a lot of horrible things since thawing out, but she would rank that lab as one of the worst for years to come.  
Once they had the Prevent though, it suddenly didn’t seem so bad. His face lit up when he saw it, that it was actually real and here, and he told her to tuck it away into safety. She did, and they were promptly back into the elevator. His foot tapped impatiently.  
‘We did it,’ she reminded him, and he glanced at her, the smile quickly returning.  
‘Oh man, we did didn’t we? Now all we have to do is to get it down to Duncan.’  
‘How do you wanna do that?’  
‘I want to bring it to Daisy. She’s the only person I trust with the caravan connections I need. If you didn’t need me here, I’d bring it to him myself.’  
‘Don’t be ridiculous. If you want to go, we can spare the time.’  
‘Now who’s being ridiculous?’ He wondered, striding out of the elevator and making his way towards the entrance. She followed, frowning. ‘Your need for me here outweighs my selfish need to see him. The important thing is that he gets it, and that he gets better.’ He paused. ‘I can’t drag him into this war I know is going to erupt here soon. I’d rather keep him safe.’  
‘And I’ll keep you safe.’  
‘Are you sure it isn’t the other way around?’   
She wasn’t, but she didn’t say so. They walked outside, and she was glad for the ragged air of the Commonwealth versus the stale air inside. He looked less relieved, and instead was looking up with a scrutinizing eye.  
‘I feel a storm coming. Come on, let’s get down to Goodneighbor.’

It only took them about a day to get back down to Goodneighbor. Since they had just made the trip a few days ago, it was quick, and they didn’t stop on the road except to eat and to answer nature’s call. He wouldn’t really have let her stop, anyway. ‘We can rest a few days in Goodneighbor. Let’s just get there, first. I won’t even complain.’  
So when they arrived, they were both too tired to really pay any attention to the drifters or to the smell, or anything else. When they started towards Daisy’s shop, however, he perked up a little, nudging her, hands adjusting his outfit. She glanced over at him with a little smile. ‘Do you want me to come in, too?’  
‘Yeah, yeah, of course,’ he answered immediately, and picked up his pace. She followed right behind him.  
‘MacCready!’ Daisy said warmly, sitting up from leaning against her counter. It had to be about two in the morning, but she was still awake and manning her store. ‘It’s been a while; I thought you might have forgotten about me.’  
‘Oh, come on, who could forget someone as cute as you?’ MacCready said, leaning against the counter across from her.  
She made a noise of disapproval, dusting off her hands and eyes flicking up to Ellie standing in the doorway. ‘You’re a terrible liar, but I’m going to pretend I don’t know that.’ He chuckled, and Daisy smiled. ‘What has you two out so late?’  
‘We just got back from getting the cure for Duncan.’  
‘No shit!’ Daisy exclaimed as Ellie came to stand beside MacCready, and he glanced over at her. ‘No more ferals trying to chew you up, hmm?’  
‘They were definitely still there, but that’s why I brought Ellie.’   
‘No one’s going to be bothered by them again,’ Ellie said smoothly with a wink. She reached into her pocked for the vial of Prevent, and the other two’s attention was on it.  
‘Daisy, do you think you could get it down to Duncan for me?’  
‘Sure, sure, of course I can. I’ll send it down with the next caravan leaving town; I trust him, and he owes me a favor.’  
‘Thank you, Daisy; you don’t know how much this means to me.’  
‘Hey, you’ve saved my ass more than once. We’ll have it down and to your boy in no time.’ Daisy looked at Ellie then, who was clutching the vial like it was the only thing keeping her alive. ‘All right? Do you trust me with this?’  
Ellie’s eyes flicked to MacCready’s, and he was watching her carefully. Then her bright green eyes were back to Daisy. She knew Daisy; she was one of the first people to really welcome her, and they talked often of the time before the war. ‘If MacCready trusts you, that’s more than enough for me,’ she said finally, taking the bandana from around her wrist and wrapping the vial up in it securely before handing it over. ‘Make sure it reaches Duncan.’  
‘I will,’ Daisy replied, taking the package carefully. It was now a little bundle of camo, and, beside her, MacCready let out a low breath in relief.  
‘Thank you, Daisy.’  
‘You’re welcome, both of you,’ she said.  
‘Come on, Ellie. We’ve earned a rest,’ MacCready said, hand at her arm to tug her very lightly back out of the door. She nodded, and it wasn’t until they were around the corner that his hand fell from her. He adjusted his hat. ‘You wrapped it in your bandana.’  
‘I felt like it well represented both of us, and I had to wrap it in something.’  
‘It wasn’t a criticism. I appreciate the thoughtfulness.’ He glanced over at her as they passed under the red lights in front of the Third Rail. She met his look.  
‘All you’ve helped me do to find my son? This small thing for yours seems almost like nothing.’  
‘Its not nothing,’ he said firmly, looking right back at her. They had stopped now, still a while away from the Hotel. ‘You have so much other stuff to worry about, and you still took the time for me and my problems. Its been a long time since I’ve had someone I can depend on.’ There was a little crack of lightning across the sky, and though he glanced up, his eyes soon returned to hers. ‘I know we’ve been through a lot since you first hired me, and we have our differences, but I just wanted you to know that I’m here for you, and can be more than just the sharpshooter or the knife under your pillow.’  
‘Mac, right now all I want is to lie against you and let you soothe my nightmares,’ she said quietly, and his face changed suddenly from the serious contemplation of a heavy conversation to that of surprise.  
‘Shit. Yeah, Ellie. Of course.’ She wasn’t sure if it was the red lights or not, but she could have sworn that he was now blushing. Whether or not he was, he quickly turned away, heading straight for the Hotel Rexford. She was right behind him, and paid for their room with hardly a word. By the time they reached the top of the stairs and the end of the hall, they were both yawning. He didn’t even bother to shake the bugs out of the blankets. He dropped his gear, boots, and jacket and fell into the bed with his hat still on. She took the time to lock the door, but she ended up doing most of the same. She popped her hairtie out of her bun, took off his hat, and blew out the little oil lamp.  
Usually when they shared a bed while on the road, they fell asleep with their backs to each other. Tonight, he was turned towards her, fingers into her hair, quickly getting tangled, and pulled her in close. She curled into his heat, and she felt him let out a sigh.  
‘Sometimes, I wake up and we are like this,’ he murmured, and she stirred at his breath, in that state of almost-asleep.  
‘You have nightmares,’ she mumbled. ‘If I’m not close enough, you don’t come out of them.’ He was quiet, but his fingers tightened in her hair just enough to let her know he had heard her. ‘And being this close means I’m not afraid.’  
‘Afraid of what?’  
‘Afraid that I’ll wake up and you’ll be gone.’  
‘I’m never going anywhere,’ he said in a low reassurance, a soft kiss to her shoulder. A quiet noise was her only response, because then she was falling into a deep sleep. She would pull away after getting too hot in the night, and he would have one of his nightmares. Soft hands on his cheeks, which were always too hot against her cool skin, and quiet, muttered nothings would soothe him. She would flow into a dreamless sleep, a sweet, sweet Fade of nothing at all, and it was the greatest present in the world.

It was almost noon before they awoke. There was noise, as always, coming from downstairs, but they were in no rush to get their day started. She got up only to fetch a pack of cigarettes and their matches, and they laid there with the ashtray on his chest, smoking. She watched the smoke curl up onto the ceiling as the seconds ticked by. In silence.  
‘I don’t think I want to go back to sleeping alone,’ she said finally.  
He blew out a long stream of smoke. ‘If you want me in your bed, all you have to do is ask.’  
‘I do, but…’ She trailed off, watching the cherry burn down at the end of her cigarette. His head turned towards hers.  
‘You still love him.’  
‘Does it bother you?’  
‘No,’ he said, taking a long drag of his cigarette, and letting out the smoke before continuing. ‘God knows I miss my Lucy every fucking day, but there comes a point when you have to move on. Its been years for me, but I know its only been a few months for you.’  
‘I know something happened to her, but I’m not sure what. Will you tell me?’  
‘A few years ago, Lucy, Duncan and I were spending the night in a metro tunnel. I—we didn’t know about the ferals. There was nothing I could have done—they were on her before I could get off a shot.’ His voice had broken, and she sat up and towards him. His bright blue eyes flicked to hers. ‘I carried Duncan out of there. That was… that was almost too much. It should have been me. I could have done more.’  
‘Every time I relive it, I think that it should have been me. If I had been the one holding Shaun, then the soldier would be out here and not… me.’ There was silence then. ‘I’m sorry, really. At least you two made it out, and you’re both still alive.’  
‘Yeah. Yeah we are.’ She put out her cigarette and curled up against him again. His arm fell around her even as he smoked the end of his cigarette. ‘I didn’t think I would ever meet someone again who I could rely on like I did on her. Would it be crazy to say that I’m almost, impossibly, happy?’  
‘Why would that be crazy?’  
‘It seems absurd, doesn’t it? Look at the world we live in. How could happiness be found in a place like this?’  
She let out a little short laugh. He shifted to look at her, and she hid her face. ‘Its just—when you said that, it reminded me of something Kellogg said.’ He made a noise for her to continue. ‘In his memories. He said something like, ‘you don’t know how happy you truly are until you look back at it. It’s the little things.’ I don’t know. It was when he was with his… wife? They had a daughter, and these raiders, they killed them.’  
‘Well, if a bastard like that can be happy, I guess me being happy isn’t that crazy after all.’ She heard the tink of the ashtray on the side table as he shifted. ‘I’m not sure if that tangent means that you’re ready to move on, or not, but don’t worry; I’ll be here when you are.’  
‘Shut up,’ she said warmly, snuggling in close to his side.  
‘Sassy,’ he murmured, but didn’t object. He pulled her closer to him and soon she was half lying on top of him, leg between his and head on his chest. Her fingers trailed in his stubble and his goatee, and he made suitable faces to go along with her touch. His eyes closed after a time, his hand going up and down her back in slow motions. It was then that her fingers touched softly to his lips. His hand paused, and an eyebrow quirked a little.  
They laid there for long moments, almost completely still. His eyes opened to look at her, and she told herself that this, this was the time to lean forward and kiss him, but she didn’t. Oh, Behemoths, sure. No problem staring them down. Deathclaws? Let’s not bat an eye. But this?  
So, instead, he sat up just enough to press his nose to hers. ‘I will never, ever, let anything hurt you, including myself,’ he whispered. She made a little noise, realising he was taking her hesitation as something other than just her pure cowardice. His bright eyes were open and staring right into hers, though, and it certainly didn’t make anything easier.  
‘I know,’ she replied finally. He drew away slightly, eyes flickering down her face to her lips before returning to her eyes. That was it.   
He leaned forward again, and this time there was no hesitation on her part. Their lips met, and her fingers pressed into his skin, his hand clutched to her back, and the noise he made in the back of his throat was such a warming noise that she had to meet it. They drew apart, briefly, and she looked into his eyes again. There they were, as fucking stunning as ever. He kissed her again, softly.  
‘God, do you know how long I’ve wanted to do that?’  
‘How long?’ She wondered, fingers tracing his jawline from his ear to his chin. His head tilted at her touch.  
‘Since we first started working together. I was hesitant at first, you know. I didn’t know you could be so mean. But hearing you shout expletives while blowing up a Gunner’s head? You can’t put a price on that.’  
‘That’s a long time. You didn’t say anything.’  
‘What could I say? Gee, boss, I know we’re going after your husband’s killer and all, but how about a quickie in that abandoned train car over there?’  
She laughed quietly, and he smiled.  
‘It was enough that I was helping you, and making sure you did whatever you needed to do. I figured if I kept you alive through everything, there’d be plenty of time after.’  
‘After? After what?’  
‘The war. Once I realized how involved you were with the Railroad, well, I figured, I would probably be in the midst of the war too. Which I don’t particularly mind, I’ll remind you.’  
‘You think its going to be a full-blown war?’  
‘The Brotherhood is here. Of course it will be.’  
There was hesitation here. They had run across the Cambridge Police Station and helped out the Brotherhood unknowingly. She thought that he knew that she was working with them undercover for the Railroad, but neither of them breached the subject.  
‘But at least the Institute will go down. Even Kellogg agreed they needed to be blown to bits.’  
‘Once they do, maybe your Minutemen will help restore actual peace to the Commonwealth. Now there is somewhere I could raise Duncan.’  
‘And Shaun.’  
‘You’re right. A good place to raise our family.’ She shifted a little at the phrase, and he broke off the worried look that had started to come onto her face with a kiss. ‘I’m not saying it’ll be shared, but I’m not entirely opposed to the idea, either.’  
‘I think it would be good for them,’ she agreed, and he laid back down with a sigh. She looked down at him, fingers skimming across his lips again. ‘Good for you, too.’  
‘For me?’  
‘See how kids are supposed to be raised. No caves for these boys.’  
He laughed. ‘Oh, come on. I turned out all right, didn’t I? Wait—no, don’t answer that.’ He was still smiling, however, and showed no sign of stopping anytime soon. She laid her head back down on his chest, eyes up and on him. Admiring the view. He looked back down at her, smile remaining. ‘So, what’s on the agenda for today? Anything pressing?’  
‘Nothing pressing. I hadn’t planned on moving much, actually.’  
‘Me either. Some food later, and maybe a drink.’  
‘Okay,’ she agreed, fingers and eyes down onto his shirt. He shifted some, but it was only to get a new cigarette. ‘I think I’m going to check in with the Railroad tomorrow.’  
He lit his cig before he replied. ‘Eager to leave me so soon? I didn’t think I kissed that bad.’  
‘It’s been a while since I’ve run any ops, and I’m curious to get the news. Don’t worry; I won’t let them keep me long.’  
‘You didn’t reply, but alright.’  
She smirked, sitting up onto her elbow to look at him. His head tilted up to blow smoke up and away from her. ‘Don’t worry. The thought of you waiting will bring me home sooner.’  
His fingers gripped her chin to bring her in for a kiss. This one was different, almost a desperate, eager quality to it, and she responded in kind, fingers clutching to his shoulder. ‘It better,’ he murmured quietly, after a few moments. ‘And he better keep you safe, or he’ll have me to answer to.’  
‘He’s one of the best.’  
‘And it’s a very dangerous line of work.’  
‘Yours isn’t?’  
‘Oh, sure, other mercs, some super mutants, no big deal. But I’m not directly fighting the Institute, either.’  
‘We don’t fight them directly very often at all. Mostly it’s the same kind of shit we deal with, just in more secret locales.’ She studied his eyes. ‘But you know all this. What’s bothering you? I know its not really Deacon.’  
He sighed, sitting up. She followed, sitting between his legs. He relit his cigarette (which had gone out in their fervor) while she took one of her own and lit it.  
‘Well, eventually one of your ops is going to go south, and I won’t be there to pull your ass out of the fire.’ He took advantage of her taking a drag to continue. ‘And what if the war breaks out? A thousand synths, and the small Railroad? I trust Deacon with your life, but I don’t trust all of them.’  
She stared at him. ‘Look, if something like Switchboard happens again, I honestly don’t know what will happen—but we’ll get through it. We have the Minutemen too, remember.’  
‘Its only a matter of time. It will happen again.’  
‘I don’t think we’re making enough waves for them to send Coursers or anything after us. Not yet. I think you and I are in more danger than the Railroad.’  
‘But—‘ This time, she kissed him to quiet him, and he conceded, for the moment.  
‘Stop. I’m always careful, and I’ll always come home to you.’  
‘You always have before, and I suppose that you have even less of a reason to stop now.’

When Ellie arrived at HQ the next night, Deacon greeted her with a cup of coffee (or what passed for coffee out here) without a word. She followed him to their corner of the bunker, lit up a cigarette. ‘Fill me in.’  
He was leaning against the wall, mug in his hand. His eyes followed her every movement. ‘Can’t tell you its not a lot more of the same: safehouses are having trouble getting synths out. They need our help to make it happen.’ She nodded, and he took a sip of his coffee before continuing. ‘How about you?’  
‘Nothing much. Some minor tech retrieval and clearing out of ghouls and shit like that.’ Technically true.  
‘You were in Goodneighbor?’  
‘Yeah. Had to stop in for a friend.’  
‘I’m glad you did. Dez was starting to pester me about when we’d see you again.’  
She couldn’t help but to smirk. ‘You can just say that you missed me, Deacon. Its all right.’  
‘Emotions?’ He scoffed, hiding his face behind his mug as he took a long drink. She followed his lead. ‘So, are we going to head out now, or do you want to rest for a few hours?’  
‘Unless we have something vital to do, I wouldn’t mind resting. Probably sleeping, but most definitely lying down.’  
‘If they need us, I’m sure they’ll let us know,’ he assured her. ‘Pop a squat.’  
She did him one better, and laid down on the ratty mattress after minorly adjusting the blankets. He laid down beside her, his coffee finished, and closed his eyes. They let out sighs of pleasure at the same time. ‘I got some feral bites that still sting,’ she said after a few minutes (she had just put her cig out).  
‘I hate ferals.’  
‘Everyone hates ferals.’  
‘Sounds like a good story, to be honest. Outnumber us five to one, and you’d think we’d be the ones receiving the hate. How the tables turn.’  
‘Well, they do attack us on sight.’  
‘Not if you’re a ghoul.’ She just nodded to this response. ‘Besides, don’t ruin it. I won’t sleep with you if you continue that type of sass.’  
‘Empty threats,’ she murmured, eyes closing with a light smile.  
‘Hey! There’s plenty of—‘ He yawned. ‘Stuff I could be doing besides lying here.’  
‘Sure. And yet: here you are. Its okay to admit how much you miss me.’ She smirked as he pulled the blanket over so it covered them, and then blew out the candles. They were in a corner, so it was still plenty bright, but it did help. They were quiet except for the sounds of the Railroad working in the background.  
‘I do notice when you’re gone,’ he said after a few minutes. ‘Of course, you’re about the only person I really talk to about anything besides Railroad operations. Maybe that’s it. It’s what I’m going with.’  
‘Mhmm,’ she said in soft disbelief, turning over so her cheek was against his shoulder. Her eyes stayed closed, even when she felt his head turn to look at her. ‘All I hear is: I’m miserable without you.’  
‘Whisper, the world is miserable without you.’ She smiled slowly, so he continued. ‘I mean, look, you’re gone for over 200 years and look what’s happened. It can’t be good without its Mama.’  
‘The Institute is the bad influence teenager that entices them to sneak out at night and do drugs.’  
Deacon snorted instead of laughing, and her smile widened. ‘But you wouldn’t know anything about that.’  
‘No, of course not. I worked much too hard to get into Law School and ace the Bar to ever have time for drinking or drugs or boys.’  
‘See, when you say it in such a monotone voice, people just might think that you’re not lying.’  
‘Who says I am?’  
‘Oh, right. Its drinking and girls.’  
She hit him, and he laughed, fully now. He pushed her away, but she was persistent in pestering him, which only led to more laughs. When they settled back down again, his arm was around her, and hers across his stomach. ‘You’re such a jerk.’  
‘Oh, ow. That hurts, you know.’ His fingers started stroking her side absently. This was new, and neither of them were addressing it, but also neither of them were objecting, either. ‘So… you’re not into girls. Interesting. I’ll have to let Glory know.’  
‘Why?’  
‘Ever since we ran that op together, she’s been asking about you whenever she sees me without you. It might just be that she admires your impeccable aim.’  
Her eyes closed again, head resting on his chest. ‘You know I was married.’  
‘Yeah, two hundred years ago. A lot can change in all that time.’  
‘Not me. My hands still smelled like onions for a couple of hours after I got out of the vault from cooking the night before.’  
He was quiet for a minute. ‘What’s an onion?’  
‘Oh. Its—well, it was a very stinky but tasty root vegetable we had back in the day.’  
‘Sounds fake, but okay.’  
‘No, really. We used to use them in a lot of recipes. Cold, hot, cooked, deepfried.’  
‘Too bad they didn’t make it through.’  
‘I’m actually surprised they didn’t. Carrots, tomatoes, corn, even wheat! But no onions or potatoes? The staples of low-end economy cuisine? Unacceptable.’  
‘You miss the food?’  
‘Everytime I go to Diamond City I die a little knowing I can’t have a hot dog.’  
‘What is that?’  
‘Imagine Brahmin meat well seasoned and stuck inside warm bread with all kinds of things on top—pickles, chili, cheese, kimchi. God. Keep the clean shit. Give me the food back. I just want to smell it. I want to walk into a restaurant and know that nothing came out of a box or can.’  
‘You really miss the food.’  
‘I miss the food. Badly.’  
He made a curious noise, halfway between a laugh and a snort of derision. Her head shifted a little. ‘Its just, of all the things to miss. You, of all people, would miss the food. I’m not even surprised.’  
‘Mhm, now shush. Let me dream of sugar plums and kimchi topped hotdogs.’ She heard him mutter, ‘what’s a sugar plum,’ and then, later, ‘I wonder what kimchi is,’ but she didn’t respond. His fingers moved in a quiet rhythm that lulled her into a light sleep. She woke occasionally for a few seconds as some noise jostled her, but then she would be warm and secure, and sleep soon found her again.

When Ellie awoke, it was surprisingly quiet. She shifted a little, but Deacon’s arm around her tightened. She looked at him, and he pressed a finger to his lips. She listened instead, and could just make out the sounds of some fighting going on above. Since they hadn’t been scrambled, and she could hear the quiet tapping of fingers on keyboards, she figured it was just a coincidence. Some muties having a hunt, or something.  
She laid there for a time, listening and content with just being safe here with him. He didn’t seem to mind, and let out a little happy sigh every few minutes.  
It was probably a half hour later that she heard it: out in the street above their HQ, a cry in agony that she knew all too well. She sat up with a gasp, eyes up onto the ceiling, thinking that maybe she had fallen back asleep. Maybe, just maybe, she had imagined it.  
And then she heard it again.  
‘Oh, god,’ she said. She picked up her guns before Deacon could stop her with a hand on her wrist.  
‘What?’  
She was distracted, eyes up onto the ceiling, before she leaned down and kissed him softly without thinking. He stared at her, but she didn’t notice. ‘I have to go. I’ll be back, all right?’ She didn’t wait, fingers slipping out of his grip. She was up the ladder to the back entrance before anyone could try to stop her.  
It was half of a hell topside. She melted into the shadows, turning the corner, going towards the sounds of laser weapons. He noticed her. He was sitting against a barrier, pistol across his lap, power armor smoking beside him. She made her way over to him, fingers to his cheek, shoulder, moving his arms to check his chest. He winced in pain.  
‘My back. Bastards shot my core.’  
‘You’re okay otherwise?’  
‘Overall? Of course. The mission comes first. We need to clear out these supermutants.’  
‘The knights can handle that on their own. We need to get you to a doctor, Danse.’  
‘Ellie—‘  
‘It’s not up for debate,’ she cut in firmly. He looked at her with the look of admiration that he reserved just for moments like this.  
‘All right, soldier.’ She didn’t wait for more than that, but had the grenade out to call for an evac. She made him drink some water while they waited. ‘How—how did you find me, anyway?’  
‘I was scavenging nearby. I heard the gunshots, but I didn’t think much of it. Until I heard your yell.’  
He shifted against the wall with a wince, and she had him turn so she could at least cover up the wound. He did, and her fingers worked underneath his suit, flushing it with water and some whiskey before covering it with some scrap cloth. He winced and made other faces, but he sat stock still. ‘You… recognized my yell? Coming from anyone else, I would consider that highly unlikely.’  
‘Well, it is a very distinctive yell. Anyway, I’ve heard your voice many times, in many different tones. I knew it was you. Call it motherly instinct, if you will.’  
He began to chuckle, but it became a wince and a fit of coughing. Her hands came to his shoulders, holding on in reassurance. He was soon using her as a support to be able to sit up, though, in his defense, he did try multiple times to gather the energy to move again.  
When evac finally arrived, it took her and another Knight to get him into the Vertibird. She stayed with him as they flew out, the bird packed with knights and their scribe, even though he told her she didn’t have to. He didn’t have any conviction in his voice, and when she asked if that was an order, he just gave this little smile. Yeah. She hadn’t thought so.  
The Prydwen was as impressive as ever, but she saw even less of it than usual; she helped to carry Danse to the medical bay. It was a lot more stairs than she remembered, and by the time he was safely in the doctor’s care, she was winded. He was pretty far gone at this point. One of the knights on the bird had given him some kind of shot that lessened the pain, she guessed, but also made him pretty silly.  
‘You can leave now, Knight.’  
‘No, sir. He’s my commanding officer.’  
The doctor’s lips pressed together, but he agreed, as long as she stayed out of his way. She did, or at least, she tried to. It was quite a while before he was all bandaged up and dumped into her care once again. She pretended like she didn’t care that he was shirtless. Most of his torso was covered in bandages anyway. She draped one of his arms over her shoulders and helped him. He was just starting to come back to himself, and seemed to realize that she was taking him to his bunk.  
‘Knight—Ellie. I don’t require your assistance walking to my quarters.’  
‘I just watched you get torn apart and put back together again, all while grinning. I’m not entirely sure I trust your skills in climbing stairs at the moment.’ His case wasn’t helped by him nearly face-planting up the stairs. Ellie caught him just in time, and he didn’t say another word until they reached his door. She wasn’t allowed in to the Paladin section, so she just patted his chest lightly with a hand. ‘Get some rest. You’ve earned it.’  
‘How many times is it now?’  
‘Oh, com’on, I don’t keep track.’  
‘I know for a fact that you do. So, lay it on me. How many?’  
She sighed heavily. ‘Eighteen.’  
‘And mine?’  
‘Three.’  
He scowled a little, leaning heavily against the wall. ‘I have quite a bit to catch up on, don’t I?’  
‘Well….’  
‘Yeah, its better if you don’t answer that.’ He met her eyes for the first time in a while, and there was a smile there on his face, too. It stayed until someone passed by them, and then it was replaced by professionalism once again. ‘I’ll see you in a few days?’  
‘Hey, if you need me, just send a message with one of our friends; it’ll get to me.’  
‘All right,’ he said. ‘Be careful out there.’  
‘Yessir,’ she said with a faked-stern look. It was a second before he smiled, but it was worth it.

When she arrived back at HQ, Deacon was outside waiting for her. She had expected him to be pretending to scavenge or something, but he wasn’t. He was just leaning against the side of the Church, cleaning under his nails with his pocket knife.  
‘I hope that doesn’t raise suspicions about where our HQ is.’  
‘Its Danse. He didn’t suspect anything, and was just glad for the assist.’  
‘I’m talking about the rest of them. Would it be a surprise to learn that the Brotherhood had narrowed down our location to a few places?’  
‘My cover isn’t blown, Deacon.’  
‘You think you’re that good?’  
‘Didn’t I learn from the best?’  
Ellie came to lean beside him, the cigarette lit before he could reply. He was smiling though, and closed his knife and tucked it away.  
‘You did.’  
‘Then there’s nothing to worry about.’ She knocked off some ash with a tap of her finger on the top of the cig. ‘How long have you been waiting?’  
‘Not long. Once I heard the Bird, I figured you would be gone for a few hours.’  
‘And that leads to the next question: why were you waiting out here?’  
‘Well.’ She looked at him when he didn’t continue, and found he was staring at her.  
‘What?’  
‘I’m not sure if you really don’t remember, or if you’re just pulling my leg right now. God, I hope it’s the former. I guess.’  
She scowled a little, looking away as she took a deep drag of the cig. She never smoked around Danse, so it felt really good. She racked her brain, trying to think of what Deacon was talking about.  
‘Wow. You don’t remember.’  
‘Did I do something to upset you? Talk in my sleep? Stab someone while sleepwalking?’  
‘Not today, you didn’t.’ She looked back at him, wondering to which question that was an answer to. Had she stabbed anyone recently? She reminded herself to check her combat knife later. It was a long silence. ‘You know what, maybe I was dreaming. Forget I said anything.’  
‘Deacon, you’re acting really weird. What’s going on?’ She put out her cigarette in the wall beside them, leaving a long ash trail. It wasn’t even half gone, but now—something was the matter. Something had happened, and with everything else that had happened today, fuck, she couldn’t remember. ‘Talk to me.’  
His voice was low when he finally did speak. ‘Before you left. You told me you’d be back later. And then—‘ His voice broke off. ‘Ah, hell,’ he said with a light laugh. ‘Why is it so hard to say?’  
‘It’s all right. It’s just us.’  
‘Well, you kissed me.’  
They stared at each other for a minute, and her mind was an absolute blur. Yeah, the thought had crossed her mind multiple times, but she never meant to act on it. They both had pasts that were a little hard to swallow, and the only person she could see laying hers on was MacCready. He didn’t know that, though. How could he?  
‘I’m sorry,’ she said finally.  
‘No, I mean—‘ He sighed heavily, looking away from her. ‘Don’t be.’ He frowned up at the sky. ‘Are you sorry?’  
‘If it was going to happen, it should have been in a better way. Memorable. Not like this.’  
‘You avoided the question.’ He looked back over at her, and she was still looking at him. ‘You’re good at that. I tip my hat to the man who taught you that little trick.’ It got her to grin, and then he was smiling too. ‘Com’on, Whisper. Do you like me like me, or just like me? I need to know.’  
‘Deac, since you’re worrying so much over this, I’m guessing that you like me as way more than a friend.’  
His face fell a little, but there was a trace of the smile still left. ‘Thick as thieves.’ She took a step closer, hands to his shoulders. ‘A-and by that, I mean, yeah.’ She reached up to tug off his sunglasses, and tucked them so they hung off the front of her armor. His eyes didn’t leave hers, except for the initial surprise at such a bold move. ‘But, you still haven’t answered the question. Remember, I have torture training. First hand.’  
‘I remember,’ she said quietly, taking a half-step closer. They were very close now, and his hand came up to her hip, pulling her closer still.  
‘Do you?’ The same quiet tone. Her eyes searched over his face before she replied.  
‘You told me once while we were going through a torture room at a raider camp. In vivid detail.’  
‘That’s right. And then you complained about how hot the rooms were for an hour after.’ She had. It wasn’t her fault if violence was just a little bit of a turn on. She smiled a little sheepishly, and his free hand came up to pull her hair out of its bun. ‘Hot now?’  
‘It is starting to feel a bit too warm. Might need to go back in the freezer.’  
‘There’s nothing wrong with being warm. Would you really leave this world for another couple of centuries?’  
‘Please. You need me.’ His fingers had stayed in her hair, and now they wove their way, with difficulty, through the tangled locks.  
‘Yeah, we already established that. The question is: do you need me?’  
‘Of course I need you,’ she said, and the last word had barely left her lips before he kissed her. She gasped in surprise, her stomach clenching in a pang of guilt. ‘Deacon,’ she whispered against his lips.  
‘Ellie,’ he replied just as softly, using her real name and not her code name for perhaps the first time. He kissed her again, softly, and this time she kissed him back. He visibly relaxed, fingers loosening in her hair where they had been clenching. She patted his shoulder softly, and he pressed his forehead to hers. ‘Please tell me you’re not just indulging me.’  
‘Indulging us both,’ she replied after a few seconds. Oh, yeah. She had been thinking about it. She had just never really thought about it, if… if that makes sense.  
‘Right. I see.’  
‘No, wait, Deacon—‘ She didn’t let him pull away like he had been starting to. He didn’t take much persuasion to stay there with her. She kissed him again, and he made a noise, maybe of surprise, and then shifted her so she was pressed against the wall of the old church. It was at this point that he didn’t care if she was just indulging him for a little while. Might hurt a lot later. The kisses grew in passion until he stopped, pressed against her, breathing heavily into her ear. Her fingers trailed over his back, waiting for him to say something, to do something, her own breath easy to find.  
‘If you want to continue, we should probably find somewhere a bit more discrete,’ he murmured finally.  
‘What, super mutants watching doesn’t do it for you?’  
He laughed, right in her ear, lips to her cheek softly. ‘No, actually, despite the rumors to the contrary.’  
‘And we don’t have anything pressing to do?’  
‘Nope.’ It was a second, and then she felt him grin against her skin.  
‘Well then, where we heading?’

They ended up going to a raider’s den, killing everyone there, dragging the looted bodies out of the main room, and settling in. He found some of their booze hidden away, and she was glad for it. He looked like he was glad for it, too, but neither of them said so. She settled on one of the old couches, cigarette out and lit. He didn’t seem to mind, pouring himself a drink (and then another). She set his sunglasses down on the table. He removed his jacket and his holsters.  
She freed her hair once more from its bun, and spent a couple of minutes to fluff it out.  
‘You got some blood on you,’ he said, handkerchief out then to wipe it from her neck. She stopped messing with her hair and looked at him. He smiled at her. ‘Hey, just looking out for my health.’  
She laughed softly, lying back so her head rested in his lap. She was still smoking her cigarette. His fingers came into her hair, and though he seemed impatient, he also seemed hella nervous. ‘We don’t have to do anything.’  
‘What? Yeah, yeah, I know. It’s just been a while, is all.’  
‘Me too.’  
‘Right! So, let’s not rush things. It is nice just to be actually alone. I don’t feel as guarded.’  
‘I can tell. Usually by now I would have been bombarded with jokes in a poor attempt to lighten the mood.’  
He looked down at her with a smirk, and she met his gaze. She winked. ‘Yeah, complain all you want. Deep down, I know you’re in love with it.’  
‘My, that’s a strong word.’  
‘It is. It would win in all the bar brawls.’ He paused, leaning down to kiss her softly. His smile still lingered when he pulled back. ‘But we’ve both been there before. Here… wherever we are. This is good.’  
She took a long, last drag of her cigarette, and he presented her the ashtray. She put it out, he put it down again, and then his fingers were back into her hair. Her eyes closed with a smile lingering across her face. After a few minutes, his fingers began to wander. Down her neck, pulling a few of the buckles and straps of her armor loose.  
‘I should take it off,’ she murmured.  
‘You should. And I’m certainly not going to stop you.’  
She did. He had made it easier on her by undoing a few of the straps, so it was a simple matter of pulling the rest of them off and having them in a pile on the floor. It was nothing he hadn’t seen before, of course, but he did enjoy seeing her a lot more in her jeans and plain shirt than in any kind of armor. Except perhaps power armor.  
‘Hey,’ she said as she was combing her hair with her fingers. Her arms were up, and it revealed this sliver of deep tan skin across her stomach. ‘Boots off.’ He had to pull his eyes away from her skin.  
‘Done,’ he said as he kicked them off. She came to him then, slipped her arms around his neck, and drew herself down to straddle him. His hands immediately came to her waist as she did, and then was shifting under her. ‘Oh—hello.’  
‘This is okay?’ She wondered, forehead pressing close against his. He pulled her closer so they were pressed together.  
‘Yeah—if by okay you mean acceptable beyond my wildest dreams.’  
She laughed softly before she kissed him, and he reacted with fervor. His hands came down to cup her thighs, to pull her closer to him, as if they could be any closer than they already were. Her fingers worked down, and then were pulling the hem of his shirt up. He pushed her away just enough so he wouldn’t elbow her as he pulled it off. He made to kiss her again, but she pressed a finger to his lips and pressed him back.  
He raised his eyebrows, but rested against the back of the ratty couch, eyes never leaving her. Her eyes went down him as far as they could reach. ‘I expected you to have more scars, the way you go on.’  
‘They’re on my back,’ he whispered against her finger. ‘Also a few that have matching ones on the front and back; a product of my line of work.’ She leaned back a little more, and his hands returned to her thighs to make sure she didn’t fall. Her finger left his lips to trace all the scars that she could see, down to his stomach, where he had a bullet wound scar. ‘That one? Super mutant.’  
‘Bastards,’ she said softly, palm pressing to the spot.  
‘Yeah, but I seem to remember you have one, right here,’ he said, pulling down the sleeve of her shirt over her right shoulder. He kissed the spot softly, and she relaxed back close to him. He tugged down further, his lips following, and her head turned to press her lips to his neck. He paused, hand remaining on her thigh tightening.  
‘What?’ She wondered softly, and he actually shivered.  
‘No… nothing.’  
A smile slowly worked its way onto her lips. ‘Oh, so it’s a good kind of pause.’  
‘Still trying to convince myself this isn’t an elaborate plot.’  
She made a little noise, kissing to his shoulder and staying there. ‘What would I be plotting to do?’  
‘I don’t know—discover my real identity, where I hid my fortunes, how I got that tattoo on my ass.’ He chuckled softly. ‘I didn’t mean it like that—just still surprised its happening.’  
‘Then shut up and stop thinking about it so hard.’  
‘Yeah… I can do that,’ he said in a low tone, biting at her shoulder. She couldn’t help but to laugh, wriggling away slightly, and then he was tugging her shirt up. It was gone a second later, and then their lips met again—and it was a different vigor in their kisses now. He untied her bra (which she still insisted on wearing) and pulled it off with little effort, hands cupping and squeezing her breasts before going back down to her thighs, pulling her closer against him so they were pressed together. She made a noise in pleasure, to which he matched—but it came out like a growl instead. She grinned into their kiss; she couldn’t help it.  
His hips came up slightly, and she could tell he was testing the waters. Her knees spread out a little further, her arms were over his shoulders, and one hand rolled over the top of his head, scratching softly over the bare skin. She could just start to feel the stubble there, not quite yet fuzz. The kiss paused, and for a minute, they worked on catching their breath, nose to nose, forehead to forehead, watching each other with bright eyes.  
And then she rolled her hips to come and press to his, biting her lip slightly. His eyes didn’t leave hers in that second, and though he took her advice and didn’t speak, he was still asking her the question. Are you sure? His eyes asked.  
She answered with a soft kiss and fingers drawn down his jawline. His lips fell open slightly as her fingers reached them, and she kissed them again. He began to smile, and then he scooped her up in one fell swoop. She gasped.  
‘What are you doing?’ She wondered, clinging to him.  
‘I know I saw a bed or mattress around here somewhere,’ he muttered, walking through the door into the next little room. This one was even more dimly lit, but he apparently found one. He lowered her down onto the mattress, not exactly gently, and then hovered over her for a minute.  
She kept her arms around his neck, but let herself sink into the mattress and blankets below. While he stayed there, her fingers began to trail down his chest again. Sure, they traced his scars, but also his muscles, now. When they reached his hem of his jeans, she found his belt and undid it in a few moves. He glanced down once he realized this with a grin, and then a deep kiss.  
Her hands paused, pressed slightly into the sides of his jeans, but one of his ventured to between her legs, pressing warm and firm into her jeans. Her hips pressed up and into his hand, and then, slowly, he drew a finger from her ass and up to her belt. She shivered slightly, nails digging into his skin, and tongue flicking to meet his in the kiss. He undid her belt, but apparently loved the response he had gotten, so his hand came back down, stroking her like that again, then firm and warm with his palm. She kept her hips up and into him, and their kiss broke off.  
They just looked at each other. She bit her lip, one hand finally moving to unbutton his jeans, pull down the zipper, and slip under to find his skin. His hand paused, and his eyes flicked over her face as she pulled his length into her hand, tugging slightly, skin to skin against his jeans.  
His attention turned to getting her out of her pants. He unbuttoned and tugged with both hands, and she wriggled for a minute, but it was useless. She withdrew her hands to herself to take them off, finally kicking them against the wall. He just watched her. When she noticed, she raised her eyebrows at him. His hand slid up her leg slowly, landing at her hip. He leaned down to kiss her again, and then again, pulling her hip up slightly so she was pressed to him, and so their skin was to each other’s.  
She let out a sigh in pleasure.  
‘I want to take our time,’ he murmured against her lips, and she nodded, kissing him again.  
‘Of course; we’re not in a hurry, are we?’  
‘God, no. Its been forever, and I really want to remember this.’  
‘Me too, but they’ll be other times too, right?’  
‘If I don’t thoroughly disappoint you? Absolutely. Not that I will. Tales have been sung about my prowess and—‘ He broke off at her light laugh, and he just smiled instead. ‘I was going to say silver tongue, but you just kind of ruined that.’  
‘You can’t fool me with your lies anymore, mister.’  
‘Ah, but that one is completely true,’ he said in a low voice, quieting any response she might have had to the contrary with a kiss. She smiled, and after a moment, her hands returned to him, tugging his jeans down a bit further, but coming to grip and stroke him anyway. He wriggled in pleasure, and she murmured against his lips to fucking take them off already.  
He does. It wasn’t even a hesitation, and he felt better afterward. He pressed back down and close to her then, lips to her neck. Her legs come up, a foot hooking around his leg to bring him in closer. Her head tilts, and she moans out softly at his affections, hand up to the back of his neck. He continued, teeth to her skin, lightly at first, and then hard. Her back rose up to meet him with a light gasp, and he gave a small chuckle.  
He didn’t stop there. He took his time getting to know every part of her body that he could reach. Lips and teeth playful across her breasts, biting at the scars that littered her stomach. Her hands came to him then, fingers behind his ears, palms over his shaved head, and he paused. His eyes turned to hers, and she bit her lip a little for him to see. His head dipped a little down, watching her reaction carefully. Her lips quirked up in a quick smile, and he didn’t hesitate any further.

‘Pass me the matches,’ he murmured and she passed him her box. She was laying back against him, between his legs, and him up against the wall. A few seconds later she heard him light his cigarette, and they sat there for a time in silence, just smoking.  
It was hours later. They were both well aware they should probably be working, but they were in no rush to move from the other. Her free hand rested on his knee, her fingers working in gentle circles over his skin.  
‘Wow,’ he said. Her head tilted back to him. ‘Let’s do that again.’  
‘Not right at this moment. I’ll need a few days to recover.’  
He chuckled, shifting so he could kiss her, and she relaxed back into him, smile returning. ‘I didn’t mean right away. Who knows the next time we’ll get a few hours to ourselves?’  
‘And we definitely want to keep this to ourselves.’  
‘That goes without question,’ he agreed instantly. There was a brief pause of silence. ‘At least while the war is still going on. We have a lot more to worry about, and I’d rather not have to worry about stupid rumors or gossip.’ She took a long pull of her cigarette. ‘We’ll put down the Institute first.’  
‘Of course we will,’ she said warmly, hand gripping at his knee. She leaned back to put her head on his shoulder, and he was kissing her again, free hand running from her belly button up the center of her lightly, all the way up to right under her chin.  
‘God, I can hardly get enough of you,’ he murmured against her lips. She smiled with a wrinkle of her nose. ‘And I cannot wait to murmur naughty things to you at inappropriate times.’  
She laughed, sitting back up. ‘Hey, that’s a two way street, mister.’  
‘You… talking dirty?’ He looked thoughtful as he took a drag of his cigarette. A long breath out of smoke, and he was still looking thoughtful, hand over her stomach. ‘No, sorry, I can’t picture that.’

**Author's Note:**

> I'm Deacon trash.


End file.
